makins of a jenkins

woo. the first trimester.

so many things went on during this time, i never could have imagined these first months and how they would feel. i think you hear the major things about being pregnant, the morning sickness, your boobs, etc….but no one really tells you how your body feels. starting to be able to feel that you have a uterus inside of you growing, you can feel it! mostly when i reach up high to grab something on a shelf or in upward dog in yoga..that felt weird for a few weeks in like weeks 6-8 or so but i’m more used to it now, but it was cool starting to feel that inside me and its like an inner pull of a dense bubble. no one tells you how that feels!

i was journaling a bit and keeping track of how i was feeling and the little things that happen each day and the differences in my body. what amazed me the most in pregnancy, is how it takes over your body and it just does it on itself. its so cool how God created us and how we naturally change. its amazing.

here are some cool changes i felt in the 1st trimester….

• water! omg i never drink water, some days i would get to the end of the day and be like, did i drink water today? bad. well i became a water monster. i literally could not get enough water, i was constantly actually thirsty and needed my thirst quenched. (writing this is making me thirsty) Anyhow, i just thought it was cool how your body takes over and tells you what you need.
• coffee & wine! this is a big one! i always thought that i would die without coffee and wine for 9-10 months. hellllllo. coffee is why i wake up. but its been cray how i havent even really wanted it. i have tried a sip 2-3 times just to see, but i still dont really want it. wine. it has straight up smelled like vinegar to me. didnt see that one coming! so its been funny to see things im supposed to have, i want…things that i dont need, i dont want. pretty cool. (i will say, a beer on these hot days does sound pretty good) 

here are some shit things i’ve felt in the 1st trimester….

• tired tired tired // yea you’re growing a human, so i get it but damn there were days i felt like i couldnt even get up….or do normal things like stairs…that i could just go to bed easily by 8pm. seriously. what the what. it was rough. i didnt do much when i could…i wasnt up for yoga really more than like once a week. considering i had 5 weeks of wedding travel in this first tri, it was crazy that i was as tired as i was…but i did pretty good considering…and kept it a secret, i didnt want them to think i would do a different job shooting…plus it wasnt my day!
• morning sickness // not sure why they call it this, its not just the morning. in fact, i felt fine in the morning…it was after lunch and worse at night..good god this was bad. everything. from about week 5/6-10/11. i was constantly taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself. CJ was not allowed to put on cologne around me. i didnt wear (and still dont) wear perfume. i learned from a podcast by a midwife, that morning sickness is a blood sugar thing…so the best thing you can do is eat..but good lord thats the last thing you want to do.
• food aversions + wants // which naturally brings me to food aversions. basically everything while i had morning sickness sounded terrible. the best thing i could have was fruit. certain fruit. one week i would eat 30 pounds of blueberries. the next i wouldnt want it. apples + peanut butter. i havent had an apple in like 3 years, i dont really love them. but they were so great + PB was a staple. applesauce times 10. i actually would eat apple sauce in the middle of the night to try to keep my blood sugar up. apple juice. basically anything apple. i had it so so much. i cant really list my aversions because it was basically everything. cooking! couldnt do it. i couldnt make anything, i would want to gag. i just made a batch of chili maybe 3 weeks ago, and that was really my first thing i’ve made the entire time.
• cravings! // i never really understood the concept of cravings with pregnant women before being pregnant…i didnt really get how REAL it is. its weird. in the first few weeks, i was craving meat hardcore. red meat. i never crave meat! and this was so strong, i wanted it really bad. so yes, while being vegan, and i was planning on still maintaining being vegan while pregnant…but i also think you should listen to your body…and this was strong so i went out and got some good organic free range meat. it was great and CJ was in heaven when i showed up with meat for burgers!
• sleep // i know its probably gonna get worse as the baby grows and moves and keeps me up for for a few weeks there, man! i was just wide awake in the middle of the night. 5am felt likee 830am, i was ready and wide awake. annoying. and i typically sleep like a dead person.
• eczema //  i’ve had this off and on my whole life, usually when im in a hot and humid place….but always on my wrists or fingers or inner elbows. but i got it all over my calves and legs and have been so itchy! i have been smearing grapeseed oil all over every night and its helped a bit. but still kinda there. also my skin for a good while there just was so dry and not normal, i could put my oil or lotion on 10 times a day.
• restless legs! //and arms! no thanks! waking up in the middle of the night and having restless legs & arms soooo bad. its maddening. it was a few nights in a row and then has been a few times since then…..boo.
• varicose veins // really cute, thanks. there is one creeping on my thigh and one on my foot….and possibly another on the front of my thigh. i know its a normal thing but i am not appreciating this one.
• boooobs // well i guess this one’s probably an obvious one. but good lord. this was moreso in the first half of the trimester. omg. people would hug me and obviously they dont know im pregnant…i wanted to die. i had to wear a tight hugging bra all the time or else i was in pain. luckily thats over now. phew!
• peeing // i know this will be more when the baby is bigger…but for a while there i was peeing all the time. i know, typical preg girl. not so much anymore, its pretty much back to normal.

I’m sure that sounds like a lot of bad stuff. I’m sure i even left some out….but overall, its not all exactly at once. and yea, its tiring and sleeping and sore and random shit happening but i can see now about labor and how you forget it afterwards, because i already cant imagine that same feeling of what morning sickness feels like. its weird. once its over, its gone. and it doesnt really seem bad now looking back.

INFO + READING + PODCASTS

i’ve been a sponge for information since day one. i grew up around babies and helped raide my little brother and sister when i was in high school, then watching my sister parent thru her 4 kids, i feel pretty educated about babies and kids and dont feel scared at all or like i dont know what to do. (although im sure as soon as a real baby is in my arms, i’ll be googling plenty of things) but i was instantly so interested in reading and listening to information as soon as i found out. here are the things i’ve been listening to.

• PREGTASTIC // if you’re pregnant, i highly recommend this podcast! its no longer running but they have an insane library of episodes online. but what i love about it is that every episode is a different topic. they have specialists on there, talk about specific topics and its really great and so educational. its ran by a panel or pregnant women (and a host) so you can hear real topics by them, ups and downs, all that.
• INA MAY’S “GUIDE TO CHILDBIRTH” // i love love love this book. its setup in 2 parts – the first half is empowering stories of women and their childbirth. its incredible. you hear so many bad stories passed around, and that mentality is not my own. i know im created to be able to do this and trust my body, so this book has been awesome to read and envision myself there here in January. im visualizing it. the 2nd half of the book is by Ina May, the worlds leading midwife, educating and empowering women with information. if you havent read this and are pregnant! buy it!
• GENTLE BIRTH: GENTLE MOTHERING // i just started this book and like it so far. its more like a textbook than Ina May’s easy reading book…but its written by an MD, while still having the perspective of a natural birth and trusting your body and understanding all the mental aspects that impact childbirth. i’ll let you know how i like it!

Do you have any sites or podcast or books you love? I would love to hear about them! 

I think the coolest thing so far has just been how quickly i became tied to this journey of being pregnant. in as shocked as i first was just realizing i was pregnant and it was real….that shock went away so quickly and how happy i am to be pregnant and feeling tied to our baby and looking so forward to seeing his/her face for the first time. i was telling CJ the other night, once we see the face, we’ll never not be able to see it again. it will be in our minds forever. which is so cool to me.

i am so happy. i’m so looking forward to the rest of this journey and meeting our baby. i cant wait! i’m beyond grateful that we’ve been given this gift. i cant wait to start feeling kicks and movement. im so happy that we are here and experiencing this incredible thing.