makins of a jenkins

im not sure if it will be like this every time. but surely, the first time is something special.

being pregnant. the feeling between us.

we’ve had so many firsts in these past years, and i couldnt be happier to be experiencing the bliss of our first child on the way.

i know. i just blogged all about my wedding last week. im sure some could think omg so soon! or why didnt you take some time for just you two!  but i couldnt be more thankful that we are pregnant, now here in our lives. i feel ready. i feel like its that time. i feel like I’ve lived so much and experienced so many things that i’ve wanted to. travel constantly around the world. months away, experiencing other cultures. living abroad, discovering who i am as a person. putting insane work into my career and growing it to be the monster that i love. being extremely fulfilled in what i’ve been able to create as a photographer. i feel like, at 29, i’ve lived so much already. im not afraid to lose my freedom as some might say. there’s been times i’ve just longed to not pack a suitcase. to just be home. to have a routine. to have a grocery day.  i’ve wanted that. i dont doubt there will be times i’ll be wishing i could just book tickets to a city and explore. sure. but being pregnant for 4 months now, i feel this intense love building. these feeling of wanting more than anything to stop and slow down a bit, to allow myself to wake up and not think first about what i want to create and achieve with work. i feel ready to embrace this new position in life.

back to us. that is the header here.

this is something we’ve talked about our entire relationship, kids. well, not so much the pregnancy but moreso having kids. but i never knew what to expect between us. i knew he would be excited, but i didnt know how attentive and wonderful the feeling between us would be. at any moment, we can gush to each other about what were imagining or what cool thing we’re fantasizing about. soon here we’ll be able to look down and have her here on the bed with us.  or i just cant wait to see what his face looks like, and his little body.  im so grateful to be experiencing this new flow of love between us. a different kind of love. a new addition in the dimension of our relationship.

i dont know that you’re ever 100% ready to make that decision to yes, lets begin trying for children, that seems so big. but its amazing to see how God knew our hearts and knew how ready we are for this next step. im so grateful for the way God moves things and starts parts of our lives on His time.

we find out the sex this week. friday is our ultrasound. the first time we get to see our childs profile and face and little body. these past two weeks as I’ve started to feel the baby move, its been unreal to experience that for the first time. they are in there. and this week it becomes even more real…they become more real. we can start saying he or she. we can buy clothes. i can imagine his or her life. its a wonderful week. im counting down til Saturday when we’ll be surrounded by our friends and some family to find out who our baby is. #bestweekever

i know parenthood wont be all stars and rainbows….but with all that it brings, i am so grateful for this connection and feeling between CJ and I. to grow our love and experience another first with him, the love for our child. its an incredible thing so far, and I’m so grateful for that.